So, this is not to whine or complain. This is here to inform you, which I am sure many of this have had this moment, that recently I have been feeling quite odd, and as some know full detail what I have been feeling, I am here to say that.. I had finally broke down. Things impulsed my brain to jump to insane conclusions and make some false reality that I know not to be true. My break downs come from my past, my parents divorced because my mother cheated on my father, I know its not major in comparison to what other people have been through, but we all have our problems.
Anyone I have talked to about it knows, but for those who dont, I have been suffering from these odd spurts of jealousy or.. envy I am not sure. Despite my happiness with Fen, I have been beating myself up and jumping to these conclusions that I know are not real. I have talked to Fen about this, obviously, but I have been suffering from this odd feeling for no reason, none at all, and finally a friend of mine had said something and it broke me. I dont know why, it broke me. She broke my brain, but in the best way possible and I was able to get it all out.
After a good hour and a half of balling, I have found that the root of my problems have come from that, from my past relationships and my parents and my family in general. I have found that I am afraid that I will lose things, this is not to make anyone feel sorry for me, but to share with you that we all break down, and when we do we need to have some one to reach out to, some one you know will understand or might be able to listen to what you are going through. Even the happiest husky on FW has her breakdowns.
I am not attempting to bring on IRL drama, because its not really a drama, I created this just to inform people of how I have been feeling and that I am feeling better and that I am here if you break down and need some one to reach out to. And to let you know, that you are honestly.. not alone.
-With Love and Care,
Bellatrix
Also, to add, I am not mad at anyone here mentioned, no anger or hard feelings. Just thanks, even for breaking me, it is a very good feeling. So I thank you.. very much friend .
We all beat ourselves up from time to time love.
Just gotta remember when to stop, and when to pick ones self back up.
That's what happens when you cram so much into yourself and never letting your true emotions out. I'm glad you "broke" and were able to unleash yourself. I hope you feel much better, it's not fun having that weight on your shoulders.