Corrupt a Wish!!

[Frigida]

Granted: Your tarasque performs every task you give it down to the letter, however it does each and every task with incredibly slow movements. It now cannot eat, sleep, wake up, or perform many bodily functions without your direct commands either.

I wish for a stylish, sparkly hat :3

[Draven Alcanis]

Granted!  The hat is made from an old trombone and toilet seat, sandblasted clean, inlaid with perpetual motion LED lights, sparkles, and gilt leaf.

I wish I had a Goddess of the ocean's as a lover.

[Arashi_kuriyami]

Pornolaboosh your wish is granted.
  However she is soooo hot that she makes you cum with just a wink and a touch. When you cuddle at night she shows her Real age...(usually when she feels freaky). And feels like your freaking a 200 year old great great grandma.

I wish that I could hold my breath Forever...

[Cynergi]

SKIDOOSH! As you take your next breath you are instantly incased in a block of reinforced concrete 10'x10' and dropped into to crushing darkness of the Marianas Trench in the middle of the Pacific Ocean where you will never be disturbed. The air still in your lungs.

I wish I had a pickle!

[Earthfox-twinwolf]

Granted, But that will be the last pickle you can ever eat.

I wish I could kill one person and get away with it.

[Onyx Ashes]

Granted. However you are overcome with guilt that you have to live with for the rest of your life along with the Ghost of said person relentlessly haunting you day and night.

I wish I had some batteries.

[Gabriel]

Granted! but the batteries will only last you 2 complete minutes before running out and becoming unusable.

I wish I had a fuzzy blanket to snuggle with.

[Onyx Ashes]

Granted! It is made from the Fiber Glass Insulation in the walls and makes you itch like crazy!

I wish I had a Peanut.

[Jack Rabbit]

Granted. It is a rotten peanut from the bar, and you don't even want to know how much 'pee' is on the nut from the unwashed hands of the barflies.

I wish for a dying, unhappy child to have a moment of pure happiness.

[Simplified]

Granted!  I've just bought the child a puppy!  He only gets it for one day though, the Korean lady in the room next to him wants that puppy too.

Now, I wish I had my own animated tv series on Adult Swim!

[Gabriel]

Granted! But the show is so horribly designed it barely lasts ten episodes, and they only run for fifteen minutes apiece.


I wish for a table full of broiled crawfish!

[Onyx Ashes]

Granted! One table full of outdated, rotten Broiled Crawfish.

I wish I had one incorruptible wish!

Oh yeah....there's the million dollar question right there!

[Gabriel]

Granted! but ya are gonna have to work for it.  On a japanese game show involving lots of naked contact with octopi and squid!

I wish for a adamantium skeleton.

[Onyx Ashes]

Granted! You fall into a vat filled with boiling adamantium which melts the skin and muscle right off your bones.

I wish I could catch that damned floating llama that keeps popping up on my screen

[Gabriel]

Granted, but it is always the bad llama and he keeps stealing your yiffs away.

I wish for more brownies.