Playing the Field

[PseudoNym]

What do you think of having more than one person on the leash? Keeping it secret, making sure everyone's in the know, or some mixture thereof? Or even just having someone you screw around with when your main squeeze isn't available?

[Cheeky Stoat]

I have an IRL partner and we both openly fuck around.  At the moment I am currently courting two other guys in an effort to get into their pants.  Back where we're from we both have multiple partners we see when we feel like it and it isn't an issue for us and people who see us together say we're almost sick to watch because our affection for each other is so clear.

So my firm stance is...that it totally depends on the couple.  While my partner and i believe in protected promiscuous sex, not everyone does and so it must then be decided mutually among partners what their combined stance will be.  Not a big fan of the whole "do it behind your back" deal though.  If your partner does not approve of you sleeping around but you *have* to, then I think it's time you found someone more open to your beliefs.

[Leithri]

"Keeping it secret" is inexcusable. That may be the worst possible way you can betray someone. It violates the trust they put in you in so many ways.

That being said, if everyone involved gives informed consent, then no, I don't see anything wrong with it.

[Zerrif]

Agreed. Keeping a secret about something like that only screams for your relationship to be broken up. If you two are wholly okay with it and open, then that's fine, but like Cheeky said it's wholly dependent on the couple. I know a lot of people who are okay with the idea, a few that would consider it, some that alter it to their own whims, and many who just denounce the idea of that ever working. It's safe to say that it isn't for everybody, but nothing ever is.

[Primrose]

Yeah, it's tough keeping that kinda thing a secret. Especially when you have to keep sedating your other lover in the back of the closet to keep them hidden from your mate.

Seriously though, I've had issues with this a lot myself. I'm bi and there's no two ways about that. (Pun not intended) The hard part is, some days I want a guy, some days I want a girl and it's often hard to get in the mood for the other. I often have guys and girls on the side that I flirt with on occasion and they flirt back, which I think is okay as long as it doesn't go too far, but that's just the thing. If I'm dating a guy or a girl, I can never have the other. It sucks.

In case your wondering, I did in fact take the Kinsey test. I got a 0 meaning I'm right in the middle going nowhere.