Furry-Within

Granted

Firefly is back on television, but as a prequel to the original series with an entirely new cast. Joss Whedon collaborates on the script, but it is mostly written by Steven Mofat. It goes on for five seasons mostly due to Fox's outrageous expectations for the show only to be regarded as the worst rape of geek culture ever. (Ow. I can feel the burn through the screen on that one.)

I wish for infinite wishes.

As you wish.

Pop! Your a magical genie that is able o grant infinite wishes, but only if asked in Sanskrit by someone with both a limp and a lisp. Till that happens, your home is a colostomy bottle that needs to be used by said Sanskrit speaker for you to be released.

Can I get a dollar?

You get one Zimbabwe dollar. It is worth less than a sheet of toilet paper.

I wish for a pizza

Fine, you can have your pizza. But it's a vegan pizza, drenched in olive oil to the point where it's soggy, and it's covered in lukewarm vegan pseudo-meats.

I wish for an incorruptable wish.

Granted but it can only be a wish that costs less that $5

I wish there was a cure for hangovers

Granted, it consists of staying drunk forever.

I wish for Luc's next wish to result in him receiving an irate ferret.

Granted but its only irate for 10 seconds.

I wish Azh's next wish makes him anime

I wish that I could see past objects like walls and or metal

Granted but you are unable to see through anything made of an organic material.

I wish for the next poster to have a threesome with random ooze entities...

Granted!

However you are chosen in this threesome, and only one of these oozes have sex changing properties.  Sadly however after that fateful night that sex changing ooze was eating (mistaking as red jello) and none other exist with it's properties.
  Now we both must live our lives as super hot chicks with dudes who wanna stick it in our bums.

....I wish I was a dude again.

Granted.

*Inserts special double ended dildo with 'ball' weights in the middle....and a bio-adhesive that bonds with whatever flesh comes into contact with it permanently.  The balls also have an auto vibrate function that triggers whenever the motion sensors within register motion equivalent to jogging.  It lasts for an hour each time.*

I wish that the next person would not grant my wish...

Cafafflishawooosh!
  Your wish is granted.. nothing happens and we are both chicks (except now I'm a chick with a permanent dick...hey that rhymed!)

I wish I had a coke.

Granted.  *Hands you a bottle of coke filled with coke...the white stuff*

I wish I could shape shift into any form, but have one set appearance/form when I truly relax and sleep.

Granted. You may now shift into any form, though exposure to any form of light reverts you to your "natural/rest" state of Gilbert Gottfried.

I wish for Bruce Lee to return to life as he was one year prior to his mysterious death to commence a renewed life as a vigilante.

Granted, though when fighting someone who is guilty of eating cheap/cheesy chinese food, he turns into a chibi character and has a high pitched voice.

I wish for a chibi pet version of a tarasque from dungeons and dragons that moves and obeys any commands I give it as long as Slayer is said at the end of each command.