Furry-Within

(I fixed this up quite a bit. Changed the title etc. Thanks for your support from before and I'm adding more to this as well though my current writing responsibilities have kept me busy. I'll post it soon. I've already gotten tons of views for this on Sofurry.com and received a lot of positive feedback. I have a vacation coming up soon, so hopefully I'll finish the next part and perhaps a bit more then.)

Jamie stared out the window as the snow slowly made the end of its long cold journey to the ground. A knowing happy smile on the young fox's face as it lay gently upon his open hands despite the faint tinge of a tear welling in his eye. Knees pulled up to his chest, he sat there in Terry's beat up old red hoody and a loose pair of jeans. Joe Pug playing in the back ground while his eyes played around with their reflection.
"Hey, can you hear over that?" Terry said as he slipped into the room. His hand still holding the doorknob with his gaze catching his younger brother sitting there upon his bed. It seemed Jamie was in there more and more, listening to the overwhelming sound resounding from the stereo system Terry had so painstakingly assembled over the years. Their mother had demanded that the two of them spend half the summer padding the walls and insulating the room so that the whole house didn't have to listen to what the boys wanted to play. They had a game then of sharing music, but since then, Jamie wasn't ready to let the game end.
"Jamie, let's go. Dinner's ready," continued the taller fox as he made his way in further and took a seat just behind his brother. The clouded window pane there in front of the young boy. Terry, adorned in a fine sweater their mother had given him the previous Christmas, reached out and laid a hand on his brother's back. A soft sigh would escape the sulking figure. Head lowering and a red sleeve, a bit too long for young arms, raised to Jamie's nose and wiped it before both hands flipped up the hood as if it could shut out the world around him.
"Look, I'll be back, okay? It's just for a little while." There was clearly resentment in the older fox's voice. His hand shifting up and down the curved back beside him in idle comfort, perhaps for them both. Terry's eyes stared blankly at the receiver in front of him. The music flowing through him as if flooding his emotions and his heart.
"You can keep the stereo too. Hell, you can have my room. You and Vinnie can play in here wherever you want." Terry's voice rose with playful excitement and encouragement as if trying to turn the whole situation around as if trying, though in vain effort, to make things into another game. "I won't mind. Just..." The cold reality slid like a slow spear made of ice into Terry's heart. He lowered his face towards his lap though his hand continued to rub his brother's back.
"You're not being replaced, okay? I still love you, you know I do. That's what it is, right? Things are just..."
"Different now, I know." Terry subtly shivered as his brother's unexpected voice broke the tension. "You're married now. You have to leave. You have to leave me, mom and dad. You have to go with her to some other place and I can't come. I know." That already soiled sleeve rose to his nose once more in attempt to clear it again, patting his eyes as well beneath the veil of the hood.
They sat in silence for a little while letting the current song play out. Terry always forgot the name; just that it was the one he always teased Jamie about. He used to tell him it reminded him of when Jamie was born and how he knew they'd be friends forever. How they would be inseparable and were meant for great things so long as they stuck together through everything.
Terry could hear Jamie openly crying now. Leaning over, he'd spot the telltale signs of darkening spots fall upon the dark red fabric of the hoodie.
"Shit Jamie...don't," he whispered and leaned in. Taking the small fox in his arms and holding him close. Jamie's body seemed willing enough and fell back against him. Now Terry's eyes were welling up a bit as his mind and memories punished him for vowing to commit his life for anyone but the one who'd been closest to him for so long.
Jamie cried for some time longer. Neither of them saying a word as the young fox's mind made forced realizations of what was and what was to come. The fact he could not keep his brother forever and the knowledge that his childhood and the years he spent playing with his older brother in the powdered snow that would fall all around them. The crisp fall leaves that they'd pile high and run through. The warm summer sun and the cool waters they'd seek to refresh themselves. The flowers on the budding trees and the first chance each year to lie upon the fresh green grass.
Jamie's sad face said it all. Each tear was attached to another memory, another promise. Falling and lost forever. Terry couldn't hide the fact that he felt like crying himself. He would hold his brother's covered head against his chest in close comfort. The album starting over again on repeat as the sound resumed around them after a brief silence. It was a gentle, soothing comfort and Terry knew he wouldn't have been able to withstand the deafening quiet right then should the music end for good.
Beyond that room, the rest of the family went about the house in idle fashion. Trying to take their minds off the boys upstairs, not daring to interrupt the pair. They had all noticed Jamie's melancholy behavior and knew Terry had to face his brother and get everything out. The food could spoil and go rotten if need be if only to give them enough time to reach one another.
Since even before the wedding, the whole family could see Jamie seeming to distance himself more and more from everyone. However, since Jamie refused to talk about, all anyone could assume was that the boy was growing upset that his brother was leaving. They each had offered comfort, but the closer they got to the truth, the more upset the young fox became. Now it was the night of Christmas Eve and Jamie's family only wished they could find a way to reach him and put an end to his melancholy remorse.
The power of emotion built up steadily in Jamie's chest until he could bare it no more. "No! I hate this room! Leave me alone!" he exclaimed and pushed the other fox hard in the chest, forcing him against the bed.
Something inside of Terry wanted to reach out and stop Jamie from leaving. Grasp him and not let him go, but the older fox simply put his hand to his face and cried quietly as he listened to Jamie run down the stairs and hastily make his way out the front door, slamming it behind him. Terry's other hand reached for the remote. He took it in a tight grip and placed his thumb over the power button, but found himself unable to turn the music off. Not until his wife entered the room, followed by his parents, would he be able to face the overwhelming silence that he and his brother had created within that room, together.
***
Out in the cold dark unforgiving night, a young fox wearing only an old red hoody and raged pair of jeans breathed heavily and wiped his face clean as it glistened with the moonlight upon streams of tears. Burnt orange fur on the back of a hand would be revealed as it forcibly pulled the hood free of his head as if trying to cast unwanted thoughts aside. Taking a deep breath, Jamie began to look around a bit. His thoughts had been running around in his mind so loudly that he had blocked out the world around him since before he'd left the front door.  He hadn't gone as far as he'd imagined though. He could still see their house not more than a hundred feet away. The welcoming light was beckoning him to return, but making him ever more uncomfortable and unwilling.
"You okay Jamie?" said a familiar voice over the cold winter wind. A voice that often filled Jamie's heart with happiness and joy, but now only brought shame and discomfort. With an unwelcoming shrug and a quick fix of his clothes, Jamie turned away from the approaching figure of a green iguana with rather subtle and soft features for a reptile. Any other time, the fox would have been overjoyed at such a nice surprise, but as he stood there he seemed to make the air around his silhouette even colder.
"Vincent? What do you want?" At first Jamie's voice sounded surprised, but that quickly turned to disgust and hate as his emotions toyed with him. He wanted everyone and everything to simply go away, wanting nothing of the reality he had to eventually face. Evil whispers created an image in his mind of the horror that he believed in his heart was yet to come which was a sadness and loneliness that had terrified him into keeping his secret for so long. Such thoughts built up a hatred that was hard for his soft heart to bear. Not just for Vincent, Terry or his wife, but for himself as well and the feelings he'd buried inside. Feelings that he had kept to himself even before the lizard had come into his life. In recent months, Jamie had felt this underlying emotion that he'd be punished for giving in to what his heart desired, to tell Vincent how he felt. Now, nothing could seem like a more befitting scene. Here was Vincent after the fox had just run out on his family. In his anger and chaotic state of emotion he would likely deny Vincent as well, take it out on him and never see the lizard again. Why not? After all, he'd done it to himself.
"Just go away," Jamie finally continued, sulking and turning to walk away to ignore the comfort of a familiar face. The fox tried to pretend he didn't notice the way his cheeks seemed to flush beneath his fur. Cursing his body for such a betrayal. His ears would flick, listening for the crunch of footsteps to follow him, but instead heard only silence. Soon the desire to turn and look back was practically beating him over the head and he simply had to give in if only to play it off as telling the lizard to leave once more.
When Jamie did finally look back, he saw Vincent still standing there in silence. The wind blowing at what looked to be a fake fur lined hood laid back upon the shoulders of a rather thick and heavy winter coat. The lizard's usual green scales were pink along his cheeks and bare head as the winter placed its hand upon him. The heavy blue and brown coat would keep Vincent's bare flesh warm, but the fox knew lizards were very uncomfortable in the cold.
"Tell me what's really going on," said the lizard as he stood there, fighting off the urge to shiver as the bitter cold danced against his exposed scales like tiny ice icicles. The words still felt warm even through the chilling breeze, firm and sincere as they rose like smoke from Vincent's lips.
Jamie didn't know how to respond at first. For a moment, it were as though both his true feelings and the desire to push away the truth were both approaching one another head on and there was nothing to stop the imminent and horrific collision. As the fox stood there, he turned and looked back with a stupid look of blank thought until the chill of reality creeping around his neck made him shiver awake once more.
"Why are you even here?" Jamie half barked back at the figure some yards away behind him. His fears were taking over and pushing him to become angry and scared as he denied the topic and attempted to change places in this inquisition. He sniffled a little and cleared his nose once more; the cold air was taking over where his tears had left off as his nose continued to run.
"For Christmas dinner. It was supposed to be a surprise, but I had to stop and get you something," Vincent said calmly enough as he stood there in the snow. Other than his feet shuffling a little back and forth to keep warm beneath his boots and thick socks, he stayed perfect still as he spoke. He wanted to smile at the fox, but the lizard could almost feel what was going through the poor boy's mind. It was something he was familiar with and it was never easy for anyone, especially alone.
Jamie stood there as he kept thinking up new things to bark back at his friend while the fear inside twisted his stomach in knots. His thoughts were mostly hateful things that he really wouldn't mean, but would get the point across that he wanted to be left alone. The worse his thoughts became, the harder it got to hold back that flood of tears again. He was realizing the words weren't for Vincent, but for himself.
A sudden rush of hatred came forcing itself up like a sick vomit through Jamie's trembling lips. "Go away! Fuck you! You think you can just come over here!? Well you can't! I didn't ask you to and I don't want you to! Get out of my life! Go! I fucking hate you!"
The words just came without reason. Empty and hallow no matter how jagged they seemed. Jamie felt sick for saying them. Having said what he did pushed him to cry even more, blurring his vision as the salty water dripped past his lips. He felt sick. His head would drop and his body would sulk as the tears pierced small holes in the snow.  His whimpering and sniffing the only sounds above the swirling wind.
They stood there without either speaking. Jamie felt so alone, clearing his nose over and over on those darkened sleeves. The thought of throwing up making him feel even more disgusted.
That's when a snow ball hit him hard in the chest. Then another.
Jamie gazed at the snow crumbling to the ground from the impression of a circle upon his chest. When he looked up, he saw Vincent standing there making another snowball as he worked it numbly between his thick gloves.
"What the fuck?" Jamie wasn't sure how to respond at first. His eyes had to blink away the tears a bit while he felt the anger inside stir up again, wanting his friend to take the situation seriously. "Go away," repeated the fox with a scowl on his lips. Brushing the snow from the featureless hoodie, his voice was softer now. Whining and weak from deep within a defeated heart.
"What if I didn't come here for you? Huh? What then?" replied Vincent before throwing another ball of snow against the fox's chest as the soft smirk that Jamie had come to love began to grow across the lizard's lips.
"What?" Jamie's words of dumbfounded curiosity were staggered briefly by the impact.
"Your family invited me. Your brother called me this morning. He said you'd appreciate it. I guess he was wrong, but whatever. I'm hungry."
As the lizard started to create yet another snowball, the fox began to march back towards him. Sneering with anger in denial of the tears on his face, it looked as though Jamie was ready to tear Vincent's head off. His heart pounding as it raced with rage. That smirk of Vincent's turning into an uncomfortable smile.
"You think this is fucking funny?" Jamie shouted as his hands forcibly pushed the lizard back, causing Vincent to stagger a bit and drop the half made mound of snow from his gloves.
"No. I think your being stupid and selfish," Vincent replied. His expression still calm, but his voice was firm.
"What the fuck do you know? Get the fuck out of here already and stop playing around!" Jamie shouted as he pushed again and again while Vincent was being forced back each time until he had a high wooden fence against his back. His own tears were starting to appear in his eyes as his heart strained at this display of irrational emotion.
A cold gloved hand struck Jamie's face from out of nowhere. The fox's eyes lit up in surprise and he stared blankly at the lizard. It was then that Jamie finally noticed the glistening wet trails running down Vincent's cheeks and the image sank in like a heavy weight dropped upon his chest. Jamie panted a bit to catch his breath and listened for the words to come to explain the scene, but they would seem like forever in coming. When they finally did and Vincent spoke, Jamie would try to keep out the thoughts that the world had seeded his mind with while his heart forced him to listen.
"Your brother called me. He knows. He thinks we make a cute couple and is proud for us both." Vincent's eyes seemed to shoot their gaze right through Jamie's head. The lizard was more serious than the fox had ever seen him.
"He was going to surprise you with this." The lizard reached into his pocket and fished out a thin piece of rainbow colored plastic with an equal sign in the middle. "It's a window decal. He wants put it on his car. He asked me to get some for your parents too, but I couldn't find any more on such short notice. That's why I'm late."
Blind with tears, Jamie staggered a few feet away and grasped a nearby tree for support. This new truth was overwhelming as it forced the young fox to look back on everything he'd done in fear of retribution. Every fight and every word of hatred towards those who have accepted him replayed in his mind. It was now Jamie was rapidly realizing that if he had simply told the truth the day he met Vincent, he could have avoided all the confusion and misguided angst he'd felt for so long. The fox realized it was true there might still be those who might not accept who he was, but those that loved him would still love him and that was all that matter.
Jamie's fingers clawed at the old tree as he crouched beside it, covering the snow with the contents of his stomach. Stream was rising in air from the mess just as a comforting hand was placed against the fox's back once more. Though he knew it belonged to Vincent, he could help but think how much it felt like his brother's. A hand that would always be there for him no matter what.

"Come on. Let's get you inside," said Vincent, his gloved hands clasping the fox's shoulders and helping him to his feet. He ignored the mess on the ground and tried his best not to breathe in the acrid scent of the stomach acids devoid of food due to Jamie's recent lack of appetite.
It was clear to the both of them that Jamie had it all wrong this whole time and would need a little longer to adjust his mind and his heart to accept the truth. He would be welcome and never driven away from the ones that he cared for the most. Vincent and his brother had shown him that and the lizard's comforting grin gave Jamie hope that everything would be alright.
Jamie nodded and cleared his eyes of his tears on his own dark damp sleeve, a calm expression gradually forming on his face. Once more the fox suppressed his emotions and swore in his mind that he'd cry no longer yet as Vincent's arms slipped around that red fabric, Jamie's eyes swelled once more and the boy grasped the lizard tightly.
Jamie would openly weep for all he'd done in anger and fear, burying his face against the comforting shoulder he rested his head upon while his tight grip grasped at the puffy winter coat that loosely shrouded his partner.
"I...I'm such an asshole," the fox admitted with tears darkening Vincent's coat. "I...treated everyone like shit and they...wait," he paused midsentence and lifted his head to sniffle a little, his eyes twinkling with childlike curiosity. "How did they know?"
"Are you kidding?" Vincent chuckled with a smirk, "they aren't blind." The lizard shook his head with a grin and continued to explain to the dumbfounded fox. "Your brother had an idea that you were gay for a while now and asked me about it the other day. I told him the truth and he seemed happy for us."
Jamie stared back quietly as he listened intently. The lizard continued on in a gentle, lighthearted tone as if explaining some adult matter to a child.
"I know you didn't want him to know, but once I knew he didn't mind. So I offered to talk to you about it, but he said he figured you'd rather be the one to tell him. Now you can I guess."
The words simply dissipated over Jamie's mind as it became flooded with memories of all they'd been through. The way the two of them met. The way Jamie tried to hide Vincent from the rest of his family only to have Terry walk in on the two of them cuddling late one night in front of a glowing television while their parents were away on a vacation. The fights, the frustration of not knowing, the uncertainty and pain of wanting more and being too scared to do anything about it. All of it had surmounted into anger and the angrier he'd gotten, the worse things had been.
"I...I can't feel my toes." The fox broke the silence, shivering as the cold air around him was finally starting to affect his lightly covered body. His fur could only do so much to keep his body warm. The red fabric of his hoodie was little added insulation and his feet had been bare the entire time. They had left paw marks in the snow around them and now began to go numb as the two simply stood there.
"Then let's get you inside." Rubbing the fox's back with one hand while aiding to support him with the other. Though he was freezing himself, Vincent didn't want to sound ungrateful for the way things had come out.
As he stood up straight and took Vincent's hand, Jamie thought about his return home. What it would mean and how embarrassed he'd be. Things had changed a lot in his life within the last hour, but what did it mean for the two of them? His family? His brother? It was all coming at him blindingly fast. Part of him wanted to run, but as he felt that familiar hand in his all the hatred and fear seemed to dissipate into nothing.
"You're coming with me, right?" Jamie asked giving that scaled hand a firm squeeze.
"Of course!"
A short walk later the pair would be back at the house with Jamie's family patiently waiting for dinner to begin. That evening would be one they would all remember fondly. Laughing and joking about how silly Jamie had been. Despite it all, he didn't seem to mind laughing along with them. He was so grateful that they had all forgiven him that he felt as though it was the least he could do.
As the night wore on, the topics would grow more somber in nature. Should he be openly gay at school and would his classmates accept that? Was there any evidence that anyone at the school would bully an openly gay student and so on. Eventually the discussion led to whether or not they would try to attend college together and they said they had decided to do so as long as they could take some brief time off to spend with Jamie's uncle in Spain.
"So, you want to see the family estate?" asked Jamie's father with a chuckle. He had taken his wife's last name mostly because 'Delgado' sounded a lot better than 'Fitsberg.'  "We were just there....." his words trailed off in thought as the older fox looked away to gather his memories.
"Five years ago," completed Jamie's mother, Diana, with a tired smirk on her face. "We weren't 'just there,' Luther. It's been forever."
They were all seated around the large dark brown oak table. Dinner had been over for some time now and with their plates cleared, it would give them all a good chance to relax and chat while the snow gently fell outside.
"I know," Luther replied with a tired sigh. The smirk on his wife's lips was turning his face into a dopey grin. "We always lose touch of your side," he continued with a heavy weight of regret in his words. "It seems like every time we all get close, something bad happens or someone..."
"Ah! Not another syllable!" shouted Diana, raising her finger to his lips in a rapid gesture that had half the table jumping in their seats. She was still smirking, but despite her lighthearted appearance, they all knew, outside of Vincent who was clueless, that no one was to speak of the deaths of Delgados. To do so would be like sentencing another member of their seemingly cursed family to an early grave.
Vincent didn't quite get what was going on as he had never heard of the rumors or about any one in Jamie's extended family for that matter. He would politely smile though and remind himself to ask Jamie about that later.
"Fine, fine!" shouted Luther with a smirk of his own and a chuckle carrying his words. "All the same, I hear Hym and Sebastian live there now, at the castle. I heard Dennis said he might be going there soon too if he can get the money together. Maybe all you cousins could go check it out together. I know Nester would love to have you all."
"It's not a castle," laughed Diana. "It's a chateau and yes, Nester would probably like having the extra company. It's just him and Bibi most of the time and I'm sure he'd like having fresh faces around."
As far as Jamie knew and Terry knew, Nester Delgado was their world exploring second cousin who had garnered a decent fortune as a baron in eastern Spain. Their mother had explained that her cousin Nester was the heir apparent to the family estate since his older brother, Gregor Delgado, wasn't interested in the title or the land. With their parents deceased, the title fell to Nester, the youngest of his three siblings, including his sister Lilith. Aunt Bibi, Jamie and Terry's great aunt, was the current caretaker and the oldest Delgado alive. Hym and Sebastian were Nester's nephews, but they were almost as old as their uncle due to his parents having him so late in life.
Brief as their knowledge was of their family, Jamie and Terry knew there was more to the story as there is in most stories about Delgados. Yet of this, Vincent didn't seem to expect much. He saw it as Jamie trying to impress him with his rich relatives and fancy home. He tried to explain to him that he didn't care, but the fox didn't seem to listen. Still, Vincent saw it as a free chance to go to Europe and travel abroad. Maybe even meet some of Jamie's interesting distant relatives.
"Wait, Dennis is going too? When?" blurted out Jamie as he sat up and looked at Terry. Terry shrugged and then they turned to their father. They both seemed rather concerned about this and took their father by surprise, eyeing him for an answer.
Luther backed up in his chair, extending his hands in defense. "I...I don't know. He's always been trying to get away from his father. I guess Nester offered him a place to stay, but it's not that easy. You know how your uncle Crispin is."
"But he's nineteen, dad! Crispin doesn't have anything on him!" shouted Jamie in offense. The warmth had left him as now that there seemed to be something new to fight for at the table. Vincent could see it in the fox's eyes and his brother's too that something wasn't right about this thing with their cousin.
Jamie's mother tried to calm the situation leaning in towards the boys. "Jamie, this isn't your fight. I know it makes you angry, but there's nothing we can do. Nester says he's already given Dennis the money and then some, but he doesn't know where it went. Apparently he didn't use it for a plane ticket, but I'm sure Dennis has his reasons and let's leave it at that."
"Fucking Curtis. I bet that asshole stole it," added Terry as he snarled at the image in his mind of Dennis' older brother; an angry young man who blamed the suicide of their mother on his half-brother Dennis.
"Enough!" shouted Luther with his hands outstretched as if to part the anger in the room. He was growing more and more uncomfortable about where the conversation was leading. It wouldn't be long before the accusations came out. "We know Dennis has a hard life right now, but all we can do is just hope for the best. I'm sure you'll see him by the time you guys get to Spain."
The room seemed to grow dreadfully quiet as they sat there in silence. All of their thoughts were drifting in silent worry about Dennis and then some. It seemed the happy energy had been sucked from the room. Vincent, growing a bit uncomfortable, gripped Jamie's hand beneath the table and gave it a soft squeeze. Turning to face him, Jamie saw the lizard smiling softly at him. Reminding him that he'd understand, whatever the situation was, and that he'd be there for him.
"So... who's on top anyway?" asked Luther.
"DAD!" screamed Jamie is response as his face turned a bright red beneath the fur. Tossing a napkin at his father and then at his older brother who was practically falling out his chair from laughing so hard. Soon Terry's wife Lisa was laughing as well and their mother was next to join in. Even Vincent was chuckling and soon Jamie couldn't help but get in on it as well. They would laugh and joke for another hour before finally saying goodnight.
***
"You sure this is going to be okay?"
It was their first day back at school. Vincent and Jamie had walked to school together that day and all the way through the front door and into the labyrinth of tall blue lockers, white tiled floor, bright lights and looming wooden doors. Holding hands the whole way. Vincent had been sure to call a dozen friends of theirs during the remainder of the break to make sure things would go smoothly with the pair of them coming out, knowing he and Jamie would have their support. Jamie however wasn't so sure about their chances. He'd put up a strong front over the past year and being labeled a hypocrite seemed like getting off easy.
"We'll be fine. Mike and Stacy are right over there. Come on, let's go see how their break was."
"Do we really need to hold hands?"
Jamie's hand was wet with a sweat which seemed to cover him beneath his clothes in a cold shroud of worry. Looking down at his clasped fingers, he would release Vincent's hand and quickly clean the moisture off against his jeans before the lizard hastily snatched those digits back.
"This is how we need to do it," grumbled Vincent. He was growing a little impatient with his boyfriend's pessimism. "I've waited all year to do this with you. You only did all this to yourself. Now, let's say hi to our friends. If we hover around them and show everyone that they accept us, everyone else will too. That's how this school works. It's only acceptable if a group likes it. After that, bigger groups accept it and then it becomes an everyday thing. Trust me."
Vincent had been right all along. Next to a line of clanging lockers, the small group of friends had seemed very happy for the pair. While there were some jeers and cold stares from some of their peers, others began to approach them and congratulate them on their courage through the bustle of kids rushing to classes with books and backpacks clasped in their hands. It felt odd to Jamie. It made him uncomfortable to receive such encouragement for people he'd hardly knew. Vincent however seemed to be taking it with pride. Thanking his peers left and right and even laughing with some of them.
"See, I told you it'd be fine. Stacy says she wants to use us to send a message to other closeted gays in the school to help them feel comfortable about coming out. It's that awesome?" The lizard seemed to boat with pride as the bell rang and it made the fox sulk with worry. "What's wrong?" his voice was quickly becoming agitated as the pair headed to class. 
"I...can't we just be boyfriends and not get all crazy like this in school?"
"But we should help others!" Vincent cheered as if it would help bolster his ideals.
Jamie thought about just staying quiet. Not saying anything and letting Vincent do his thing. It was the least he could do to make it up to the lizard. Let Vincent campaign for equality in their school while he stood beside him. Yet the more he thought about it, the more he realized that simply wasn't right. He stopped in his tracks and pulled Vincent back sharply. In his heart, the fox knew that not saying anything was what got him into a mess in the first place and he wasn't about to let it happen all over again.
"Ugh...can't you do that and leave me out of it? I'm not really into that sort of stuff. That's your thing. Please? We can hold hands and stuff, but I don't want to be a poster child for gays in our school."
True, Vincent was hurt. It ached in his heart a bit that Jamie didn't want to do this with him after all the dreaming the lizard had done during the rest of the break. The lizard wouldn't say a thing, only nod with a half-smile shrouded in disappointment and turn to walk with Jamie into the math class they shared together. The first class of the day.
Two steps in the door, the pair paused as a slow clap of appreciation rushed over them. Neither would admit to the butterflies swirling in their stomachs as half the class stood including the teacher, Mr. Lolly, stood and praised the two for their courage.
Before a word was said, Mr. Lolly, a ferret in his thirties, turned and gestured to the class to sit with a grin on his lips. He knew that many in the class wanted to congratulate the boys on their effort, but didn't want to embarrass the boys either or give those who didn't accept them further reason to act out in aggression for that matter.
"Take your seats. Let's continue where we left off," said the ferret, keeping an eye on the class with his gaze jumping between faces either expressing too much excitement or ignorant hatred. He knew there was a potential powder keg of debate in the room and would do his best to keep a lid on it so that it would hopefully fizzle out.

"Hmm? What's this?" said the slender orange fox. His tight burnt umber vest, matching trousers and collared white shirt made him look even skinner and taller by contrast. The room he stood in was a large open hall. The cavernous feel of such a high ceiling, opening up the landing of the second floor which passed above, often made the occupant of the room feel dwarfed and yet warm with its natural hues such as in the railings which descended and came to an abrupt end at the foot of the solid twin staircases. In his hand he held a letter from his nephew Dennis. The envelope alone had given him a bit of a puzzle. The return address had the right name, "Dennis Muter-Delgado," but the address itself was unfamiliar.
He had received an email from his sister Diana just that morning. Her family had a wonderful Christmas. They missed him at the wedding, (though he was excused since it had in fact been a private ceremony), and that their youngest was out of the closet with a very charming young lizard. He was so pleased to hear the news that he held it in the back of his mind to share it with his nephews, if they ever woke up, and his aunt should she come over to the main house that afternoon as she often did for tea.
Family news was always exciting to hear since he lived so secluded from his relatives, but before he would open the envelope, he knew the contents would weigh heavily on his heart.
"Dearist Uncle Nester," it began. He folded the torn envelope and stuffed it in his back pocket. Those words on the first line with the peculiar spelling had been a code Nester shared with his nephew to prove the identity of the author. If it had been written any other way, it meant someone else like Crispin, the boy's father, might have written it as a lure of some sort.
"I'm trying. It's getting difficult, but I'm trying," read the next line.
His sister's son had been through a lot fighting with his stepfather and that was an understatement. Because of the boy's lifestyle, he had become subject to much abuse from the old wolf. It had been five years since the death of his mother and two since he came out and began to dress increasingly more feminine. Crispin nearly killed the boy when he found hormones in Dennis' sock drawer, but the broken leg, fractured cheek bone and two missing teeth weren't enough to take the boy away from such an abusive tyrant with no prior record. He and his homophobic biker buddies had provided a concrete alibi. Even his own son Curtis took the stand and testified that Dennis had done it to himself to have his father arrested in order to collect on what little inheritance from his mother remained. The Delgado family spent a good sum of money for Dennis' case with his uncle Remus Delgado representing him, but had lost in the end. The court ruled that Dennis was unfit to live outside Crispin's care due to mental instability and that he wouldn't be allowed to leave home until the age of nineteen. He have a full psychiatric examination to prove his mature metal state, but the so called 'self-inflicted' beatings continued to crush his case.
"He found my fake pills and broke my arm. He hasn't found the real ones. Thank you for the trick."
Nester had taught the boy to hide his pills in vitamin bottles and keep the real pill bottles with the vitamins inside. If Crispin became suspicious, he became determined. He wouldn't likely give up unless he found something. Giving him a decoy to destroy would sate him for a couple weeks at the most.
"I spent the money. Pills and some surgery and clothes. Rented safehouse with friend and will leave soon to prepare for the trip. Two weeks. $-5"
Though he was burning through cash, Nester did appreciate the fact his nephew was so diligent about accounting for most of it in his letters. The "$-5" meant that he needed another $5,000. Judging by the look of the paper, this figure had been changed multiple times. Dennis probably thought it was too much or too little, but from the sound of it, Nester could tell it was for the ticket, the rent and other last minute expenses. He knew Dennis never spent any of his uncle's money unless he had too. If Crispin or Curtis discovered any extravagance, they would trace it back to the Delgados. Crispin has threatened the family with a restraining order in the past and would have legal grounds to apply for one if Dennis was caught with family funds. Nester had set up a private account in his own name and given Dennis access shortly after that nightmare in court. Dennis hid the card at his school and burned all statements and receipts at night in an old parking lot.
"Curtis is much better now, but I don't trust him. I don't think he agrees with Crispin, but he doesn't like me either. I'll keep my distance."
Curtis and Dennis always had trouble liking each other ever since their parents were wed. Curtis, being the older brother, often picked on the small weaker fox and sided with his father whom he admired in all altercations. Recently however, Curtis had started driving Dennis to the hospital for his numerous injuries which had progressively gotten worse. Being closer to these things and seeing the pain his father caused first hand had sparked emotion in the young wolf's mind and convinced him his father's 'treatment' of Dennis was wrong despite the fact he still disagreed with the fox's lifestyle.
"I can't get anymore help at school. They need Crispin's signature to let me leave."
Leaving in the middle of the school year would be tricky, but Dennis had only just started college. It had been difficult just to get in due to his 'mental history,' but Nester had promised things would be much easier in Spain and he would make sure of that. In the meantime, if he left now it could weaken his case for mental stability and possibly keep him out of a good school for the rest of his life.   
"One week. I'll write again. Dennis-"
Nester rubbed the disbelief from his face as his mouth hung slightly agape. Fingers pulling down lightly at his cheeks as they ran down his muzzle. His eyes darting around at the various paintings on the walls in the wide corridor as he stood there in the silence. The hand carved wood paneling and wooden chairs and the darkly varnished narrow tables which supported the fine ornaments of pottery. Décor which had taken generations to accumulate and care for. The house was old, that was for certain. Old and well-built with fine carpets lying over the paneled floor leading visitors around to the various galleries and rooms within. He stared down the hall at this display, but nothing stayed in his view for long as he would've easily given it all away, the whole collection which his family had passed down for more generations than he knew if it would help his nephew escape his torment. A nightmare which no one deserved.
The fox stood there in silence for a moment. Contemplating to himself the outcomes of numerous actions he could take, but the best was to simply trust and put faith in the young boy. Perhaps he was stronger than his uncle thought.
"What's up Nester?" a familiar voice said, coming down the winding staircase just behind him. In a flash, Nester tore the letter and the envelope into small bits and turned back to Sebastian with a cordial smile. Nester always kept maters regarding Dennis private. There was no telling how the others would react. Any wrong move would force Crispin to tighten his grasp of the young boy and there was only so much force the young fox would be able to take before he burst.
"Oh, just some junk mail. It must've slipped past Tennison," replied the fox. He often blamed Tennison, a sturdy and able middle-aged equine, for little, quickly forgotten, mishaps which he wanted to pass the blame for.  The equine didn't mind. Nester looked about the room once more as he finished destroying the evidence and then glanced back to his nephew, changing the subject.
"You and Hym going back to the village today? Hym is still seeing that girl there, yeah?"
"Ha! No, I'm seeing the girl. Hym just gets drunk and causes trouble. Where's your head? Something the matter?"
Sebastian looked to his uncle with some concern. It wasn't like him to forget juicy details. Nester just shrugged it off and shook his head. "No, I'm fine. Just thinking about your cousin Jamie is all. He and his boyfriend are coming here soon to stay with us soon. It got me thinking about arranging a bit of a reunion or something. Not right away, maybe next summer."
The diced paper was slipped into the front pocket of his vest. He'd leave it in there to intentionally have it go through the wash for which he'd blame Teska. The Russian skunk maid.
"Hey, that's a cool idea!" said Sebastian as his tail began to sway a little. Sebastian was very well built for a fox with a broad study physique. He and his brother had exercised regularly from a young age and often competed against each other in various sports. His ruggedly handsome complexion didn't hurt his chances with the opposite sex either. "We have tons of room here. I bet we can fit everyone and a few guests too!"
Nester nodded. It wasn't a bad idea, but he had only just thought of it to get the young man's mind off the letter.
"Bibi is really getting up there and I'd like her to see everyone once more, you know?"
Sebastian sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean." They stood there in silence for a moment in concern for the elderly woman who was no doubt shuffling about laying out linens somewhere. Nester had pleaded with her to take it easy in the past and let Teska do more of the work or perhaps hire a second maid, but the strong woman was too determined to lie down and call it quits. She worked just as hard as the regular staff and was often doing their jobs for them or over again.
"You want to come with us to the village today?, said Sebastian eventually breaking the silence. "Hym might be up soon and we can take the car out there. Besides, I'd like you to meet Bella. She's great and well, I'd like to bring her to the house sometime."
"She's a...panther. Right?"
"No, Jackson was the panther. She went back to New York. Bella is a mink from France. She's really nice and sweet. She even helped me drag Hym into the car last night after he passed out. She's really cool like that. She'll probably yell at him today for it once he's feeling better, but still, she's cool."
"Huh, okay. Mink from France. Got it. Yeah, sure. Alright, get your brother out of bed and into the shower and we'll head out there in a few hours. I just need to run a few things past Tennison real quick and make a couple calls."
************************************************************************************
The white cement floor in the basement was always cold. There Dennis, a dark red fox with a rather feminine build and in his late teens, sat on his knees as if praying for forgiveness. Long black and red hair falling over his worried expression. His head down and his hands on his thighs. Just how his step-father wanted him.
The air was stale and the lighting was dim. Only a few shop lights on the sides over a series of workbenches provided what they could for the surrounding area. One of the florescent bulbs blinked frantically as it struggled to hang onto life.  It clicked itself at attention just as the brutish wolf entered the room from the old wooden stairs leading down. This was his domain. It was his world down there and he shared it with no one else. If you were down there, it was because he wanted you to feel his power over you coming from all directions. Dennis had been down there so many times that he practically had residency. That is if Hell had citizens.
Even through the stale air, Dennis could smell the anger and aggression coming from the man before him. The scent of his sweat filling the fox's nostrils with a bitter sting. Something was off though. He had the smell of a fight on him, but he had only just arrived for the event. "Curtis? Had he been hurting Curtis?" the fox thought to himself. A drip of blood from the wolf's snout hit the floor two feet away from Dennis' knees. Just past that were the bare gray furred feet which Dennis was more than familiar with. He wanted to look up and see that murderous face all bloody and swollen. Just for once see Crispin having suffered the sort of beating he was about to receive. Then all at once, he could feel the crooked smile slice through the silence above him.
"Your brother," began the voice crippled with age and cigarettes, "thought he'd protect you this time. He said I was too rough last time, breaking your arm like that. Well, I'm sorry." The taunting sarcasm in his voice made the fox tremble. "I'll make you a deal..."
He tried to be strong before, but now his eyes were welling with tears. He wanted to wipe them away, but he knew moving would only make things worse. The tears would instead drip down over his cheeks and onto his black shirt and jeans. He'd just bought them and he felt sorry that he'd worn them that day since he'd likely never wear them again. "No deals. Please no deals."
"You tell me what I found and admit what you did, and you will walk out of here. If you don't, well, I promise you that you won't be walking anywhere, anytime soon."
Those powerful feet moved slowly around the trembling fox. Dennis knew this ritual all too well. Crispin would drink in Dennis' fear like sweet cognac, getting drunk on it. He'd savor it and let the fox sweat, let the drink ferment, before choosing the perfect time to swallow it down for optimum results.
Dennis had to think fast. There was only so much that could implicate him into this sort of punishment. If he gave the wrong answer, he'd get punished for both crimes and he would be giving up something on top of whatever the wolf had already discovered. If anything, he could give up something just to sate the beast currently hovering around him. Accept the beating and then recoup his loses. If he stuttered, hesitated too long, the wolf would know there was more for sure. Crispin would stay until morning or until the fox blacked out to learn every last secret if necessary.
"The letters. You know about the letters I sent somehow."
Perfect answer. Dennis had only sent one letter and knew it was already well gone. It was something he would be punished for though, but at least he wasn't giving up anything this time. He thanked himself silently that he hadn't used that one before.
"EEEE. Try again dipshit."
The fox cringed at the annoying buzzer sound and his heart sank. The letters weren't enough. Crispin wanted more this time. The fake pills were already gone. If Crispin had found the real ones and discovered he'd been duped, Dennis would never have made it to the basement.
"The..."
"Yes...?"
The fox tried hard to think, but it was difficult under such pressure. What had he been so careless with? Just then it struck him like a bolt of lightning. Ripping through his heart and splitting it in two effortlessly like it was paper. "Oh fuck."
The tears rolled down heavier over his cheeks as the fox began to openly weep. Not for the beating he was about to receive, but for what he'd already lost. A thing near impossible recover.
"The passport..." he muttered in a quiet, defeated gasp.
The grin, a sickly and perverted smirk that you could feel through a wall, was forming once more behind the fox. Panting quietly, wetting his underwear slightly, his heart pounding through his chest. All side effects of feeling that terrible smile upon you.
"Bingo"
The white cement floor in the basement was always cold.

thats a long starter ill re read and see if i can join